Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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