Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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