Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize