If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
