My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize