Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize