Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
