Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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