I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
