Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
