My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
