At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
