I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
