Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize