"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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