Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
