Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
