You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
