as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
