have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
