I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
