I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
