So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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