cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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