I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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