he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
