last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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