Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
