i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She's JV to your varsity
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
