sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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