It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
