No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
