Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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