i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
