Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
