Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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