I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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