Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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