Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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