you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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