some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
