I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
