you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My dick has a subreddit
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
