wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
There r osticjed everywhere
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
God I need to hump something, right now.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
