I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
