Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
