I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
