In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
