he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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