Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
