forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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