The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
