Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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