So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
