Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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