Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
