I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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