I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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