When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I am mentally ready for anal.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
