he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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