Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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