The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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