I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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