Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
