Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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